"The Common Man" and "His" Counterparts: Poking Fun at Intellectuals

I'm not one to theorize universal categories of the "universal (hu)man," mostly because my post-modern sensibilities find this incredibly problematic. However, lastnight a friend and I were jokingly describing our mutual acquaintances and ourselves. This resulted in "types" or "categories" of people. As someone who buys into post-structuralism--the theories of Deleuze and Guattari, post-colonial theory, and critiques of universalism as imperialist--I often poke fun at theories of human nature in the liberal tradition, which imply some kind of rational essence to human beings, or some kind of universal essence to their behaviours. Yet, as a scholar, I continuously find myself placing things into predefined categories. In my defense, I was trained as a Political Scientist, where analytical thinking, and placement of events, ideas, bodies, modes of being, etc., into predefined categories is the hegemonic method. So, simply as a joke, here are my "Types of Men." I use "men" facetiously here to play back to the philosophical tradition which theorizes about "human nature" as "the nature of men."

The Man with His Feet on the Ground and His Head Upright

The Common Man. The one who is hardworking, pragmatic, rational, reasonable, and is "in touch with reality."

The Man with His Feet on the Ground

and His Head Underground

The Political Activist. The one whose feet remain in the material relations of society, the one who experiences struggle, yet burrows his head in revolutionary ideas and political theory. Many Marxists fall into this category.

The Man Underground

The Hippie Commie Anarcho Anti-Civilizationist. This is the one who has built his own counter-hegemonic world, the one who refuses to engage with society. This is also the Marxist who spends so much time in his arm chair theorizing that his feet are no longer on the ground; he is no longer rooted in material struggle, but rather theorizes about it.

The Man with His Feet on the Ground

and His Head in the Clouds

The Philosopher. This man can still relate to the Common Man, but spends his time day dreaming and idealizing. He takes joy in pondering life's philosophical questions, and then takes a break to watch the hockey game, or to go to the pub.

The Man in the Clouds

The Philosopher of Metaphysics. This is the man who spends all his time philosophizing. It is difficult for him to relate to The Common Man, as he finds his interests banal, and void of substance. The Man in the Clouds is happiest when he is in his arm chair, pondering everything but "life."

The Man with His Feet on the Ground

and His Head Up His Ass

The Art Theorist. This man has his feet on the ground enough to be a part of the world, well at least a part of the art world. He believes his interests are "too high brow" for The Common Man, and his interest in them can only be explained in the length of an essay, that only he can understand. As his head gets further and further up his ass, as his intellectual interests become increasingly narcissistic and self-absorbed, and his taste in art about which he theorizes becomes more and more obscure, this man becomes:

The Man in the Clouds with His Head Up His Ass.

The Philosopher of Avant Garde Art.

. . .

I hope it is painfully obvious that these highly offensive and stereotypical type-castings are intended to be a playful joke, poking fun at myself and intellectuals. Please do not take these seriously, or as a serious representation of my work as a scholar or of my opinions about scholarship and intellectual life. I think I have qualified as all of these "Men" at one time or another. I've painted a kind of vulgar and crude picture of philosophy here, and maybe of theory as well. Please do not think that I actually draw distinctions between "The Common Man" or that I think philosophers are up in the clouds and have their head up their ass. I don't. I value theory and philosophy, and I do not think there is even a category for what is called "The Common Man" or even "philosophy" or "theory." This is the point of creating these categories. They are futile, meaningless, and poke fun at the process of categorization in general.

Greek Eggs Florentine

I got this idea from my aunt, this holiday season, who had whipped up a batch of special "healthy greens" Spanokopita (Greek spinach pie) in no time, telling us she keeps a batch of this mixture in her fridge to make Eggs Florentine with. I had to try it myself. She told us she added more eggs to the mixture to make Spanokopita with, but, without getting her recipe, I decided to just have a go of it on my own. Thanks Auntie Fay!

Chard, Kale, and Spinach & Feta Warmed Salad

1 large onion, halved and chopped

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 bunch of swiss chard, with stems removed, chopped

1 bunch lacino kale (the dark green, almost black, kind with a flat leaf), chopped

500 g (one package) frozen spinach (chopped or whole leaf), thawed and drained

2-3 tsp (a splash) of lemon juice

3 tbsp olive oil

Salt and Pepper to taste

3/4-1 cup crumbled feta cheese

1 egg, beaten

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F on broil.

2. Heat 2 tbsp olive oil in a large (oven safe) sauté pan on medium heat. Add the onions and sauté them until they begin to be tender. Add the garlic and sauté until the onions are translucent.

3. Add the swiss chard and lacino kale and stir. Cover the pan for 5-10 minutes until the chard and kale are cooked down.

2. Stir in the spinach and season with the lemon juice, the remainder of the 1 tbsp olive oil, and the salt and pepper. Continue to sauté for around 5 minutes until the spinach begins to cook. You'll smell it.

3. Stir in the beaten egg. Continue stirring for 3-5 minutes until egg cooks in.

4. Stir in the feta cheese. Continue stirring for 2-3 minutes until cheese distributed.

5. Put pan in oven for 5 minutes to broil. Watch closely. You just want the mixture in the oven long enough for the cheese to begin to melt, while adding a bit of a golden brown colour. You can turn down the oven temperature and keep the mixture in there to stay warm, while making other preparations.

This makes enough for at least 12 people. You'll have lots of leftovers! I'll give you some ideas for what to do with them below. For anyone who has made Greek Spanokopita, you'll notice that this bears a striking resemblance to the filling... You can substitute a 500 g package of frozen spinach for the chard and kale bunches.

Poached Eggs

2 eggs per person

3 tsp white vinegar

1/8 teaspoon salt

1. In a saucepan boil water on high heat. Once boiled, reduce the temperature to medium, so that the water is still at boiling temperature, but no longer boiling rapidly.

2. Add 3 tsp of vinegar and a pinch of salt to the water.

3. Crack eggs individually into a small bowl and slip them into the water one at a time. If you do this carefully and the water is hot enough (just below boiling temperature so that it is still), you should not need to coach the egg with a spoon. But, if your egg starts to go for a swim, just direct it lightly with a spoon. It's easiest if you put the eggs in one at a time so that they do not run together.

4. Cook each egg for around 6 minutes, or a little longer if you like it firmer (around 3-4 if you like your yolk really runny).

5. To remove your eggs, scoop each one out with a serving spoon. You can use another serving spoon to hold back the egg and drain excess water off, as if you were using a pot lid to drain a pot of pasta.

Toast

You'll need 2 slices of bread per person. I use rye or pumpernickel bread from the local bakery, but you can also use English muffins, or ciabatta or French loaf. You can brush slices of bread with olive oil and place them on a cookie sheet under your already warmed broiler, moving the spinach mixture to the bottom rack, or taking it out of the oven, and putting it back in for a moment before assembling the plate. Or, you can just use the toaster...

To assemble

Layer the spinach mixture onto your bread slices, about two generous tablespoons each. Place a poached egg on top. Sprinkle some fresh Parmesan or another hard cheese, and season with salt and pepper. You can also sprinkle finely crumbled feta instead of Parmesan. The runny yolks act as their own hollandaise sauce.

. . .

Other variations

Leftovers keep in the fridge really well, especially if you pack the spinach mixture into mason jars while warm, because they vacuum seal themselves once you put them in the fridge. I've been eating this mixture on its own, simply heated up, as a warm side dish. I also layered it on my sandwiches, both heated and cold, as a flavourful spread that added a bit of green.

I also took it for lunch as a chilled eggs Florentine salad: I layered a few tomato slices at the bottom of my tupperware, spooned some of the Florentine mixture on top, and, for a bit of protein, layered a sliced poached egg on top. I whipped up vinaigrette with lemon juice, honey, olive oil, salt, pepper, and basil to drizzle on top. I've also eaten it plain, and I've also used a small drizzle of a store bought fig-balsamic-olive oil dressing. You could easily make this into a sandwich by putting it in a tortilla wrap, or between two slices of yummy pumpernickel bread.

Like my Auntie Fay, you could add 2-3 more beaten eggs to the mixture, dolloping it onto rectangles of phyllo pastry, and folding into triangles. Make sure to use lots of olive oil or butter to brush your pastry. You would need to bake it for around 30 minutes, until the pastry is golden brown.

If Nerdy Academics Started a Band...

A friend of mine, noting how both of us had fallen ill, jokingly remarked that our first album name could be "Of Germs Between Us." Considering we're both nerdy grad students into theory and philosophy, this sent me spiraling into thinking up ridiculous possibilities for band names. I've also managed to include commentary on genre, and in some cases, names for the first single. In no particular order:

Too Drunk to Foucault.

. . . [a punk band?? Single: "Subjectivity, Suspect Titties"]

Guattari and the Soft Subversion.

. . . [this could be like psytrance meets grindcore...]

Derridisco and the Deconstructionworkers.

. . . [experimental disco, obviously. Single: "Break My Binaries"]

The Bataillions.

. . . [60's hippie rock with some hardcore thrown in. Single: "Marcusin' You")]

Will to Cower and the Nietzchean Nightmare.

. . . [thrash metal!]

Homi and the Bharbharians.

. . . [post-colonial metal. Singles: "Po-Mo/Po-Co" & "Franz Fanonatic"]

Arendt You Ready to Dance?

. . . [good & evil / morality-themed disco]

Y'Artaudally Cruel and the Pirate Spectacle.

. . . [the spectacle of glam rock... but with pirates in straight-jackets?]

Similarity and Singularity.

. . . [a play on Difference and Repetition -- monotone keyboard tunes]

Baudretarded and the Simulacrazy.

. . . [experimental noise with gibberish singing?]

The Spectral Corporeal Temporal Aporial Messianic Events.

. . . [chaotic experimental existentialist noise]

Judith's Butlers.

. . .[sweet 80's Men At Work styled tunes performed by ladies in tuxedoes.]

Lukacsucker and the Manifesto-thumpers.

. . .[sexified/pornographic political garage rock?]

Gayatri and Guattari.

. . .[there'd be go-go dancers as back-up, and some mixes of Atari-tunes]

Spivak and the Post-colonial Zizek's.

. . .[I'm thinking like if M.I.A. did punk rock...]

The Spivak-Zizek Love Affair.

. . .["multicultural" mod-punk?]

From Freud to Marx.

. . .[The first single could be, "Yet another one, 'cuz everyone's doin' it" -- classic grunge rock]

Lacan't Stop the Music.

. . .[mirrorball disco. A single could be, "Zizek's Knocking on My Open Door"]

Deleuz'in It.

. . .[noise meets hip-hop, Singles: "Repeat Dis!" & "A Thousand Platinum Plateaus"]

Badiou & Badion't.

. . .[math metal.]

Proudhonesty & the Anarchist Economy.

. . .[obviously a punk band. Single: "Marx Doesn't Like Us!"]

Sartrean Sycophant and the Being Nothingnessness.

. . .[??? it could be anything... or nothing?]

Sir Francis and the Bacon Bits.

. . .[some kind of modernist, nihilistic, yet punk-y stuff]

Metaphysically Whiteheads.

. . .[obviously an experimental noise band. Single: "Too Trendy to Cite Us"]

Husserl's Table.

. . .[is there such a genre as phenomenological music? I bet it was popular in the 70's.]

Being Hannah & Hiedegger's Mistress.

. . .[some kind of Sid and Nancy punk duo]

Just Irigiray of Sunshine.

. . .[a 60's-ish garage mod/punk/pop band]

Immanence Airplane / Deterritorialized Modalities.

. . .[a chaotic experimental noise band]

Immaculate Misconceptions and the Messianic Temporalities

. . .[psytrance?]